I was just reading a bunch of blogs and realized that I am the only one that doesn’t really keep up with my own.
Last night I learned that people actually do check to see what I’m saying, and when I password protect things, it bothers them. So I changed what I said in the blog and took off the password… trickytricktricky
It’s pretty outstanding the people that I have surrouned myself with. Pastor Steve said that this year is the year where our friends will determine where we go. And that is so true. I sort of caught onto that before I decided to come back to North Carolina. My friends were poisoning me. My family was poisoning me, and I was becoming just like them. I was surrounded by people who, not only, weren’t going anywhere, but didn’t want me to go anywhere.
I love them, and I miss them, but I can’t be around them.
And that is really hard for me to explain to them. They don’t see themselves as poison, because it’s all they know. And for me to tell them that… “who do you think you are?” It’s great.
So I was wondering…
What is the answer? I know that we are supposed to pray for our loved ones to come to Christ, but there has to be something more. I don’t want to see my family suffer. I want them to have joy, and I want to have that joy myself without getting bumbed out that they’re miserable and I’m not.
I don’t know if any of you were around a few years ago during prayer when we all wrote down the loved ones that we were praying for salvations. My list could have gone on forever, but there were a few that were on there by name rathe than just “family, or friends” These papers have been taken down since I came back, but while I was here visiting I went to the list and I had to cross off a name. And there was no joy in it. I had to take off the name of one of my best friends because he killed himself. There is no easy way to say that.
It seems to me that I’m either getting too old, and know too many people who are dead or dying, or something else is going on. There was a common link to them, and I don’t want to climb into the same boat with them.
All of them died because of some sort of heart defect. Whether it was their physical heart giving up, or their emotional heart giving up. And the scary part of it all is that mine has been hurting so badly. Physically and emotionally. Oh, no! (deletion of words that could be harmful to others.)
I have had to overcome a lot of things lately, and I know that God is still working on some things. My 4th Dimension is flooded with God’s Angels doing what needs to be done. I have so many testimonies about this “season” of my life, but I have to save them until I get through it, and I will get through it.
So I have decided to do some pretty drastic things. I’m going to shave my head and sell all of my posessions and move into a commune. I found one listed on Craigslist.
No, not really. (there really is one listed, but I’m not going there)
Here’s what’s going to happen.
I haven’t completely figured it out. So I’ll end.