Sunday, August 13, 2006
Please don’t read this if you don’t love me.
Right. So. Sticks and stones may or may not break my bones, but certain words from certain people sure enough hurt me.
Talk all the junk you want about me. My lifestyle choices, ie: piercings, tattoos, the split tongue, large ear lobe holes, etc. You can even say nasty junk about the music I listen to. All of the screaming and loud guitars. Whatever.
But shut your mouth right up before you try and talk trash about God to me.
He may be doing nothing in your life, because you don’t allow it, but He sure enough is moving stuff in mine.
It gets really old hearing the same crap over and over about how ‘gross’ my piercings are. Did I ever pop a needle through your flesh without your concent? Sure haven’t. And have I ever told you that you’re going to go to hell if you don’t change your ways? Or handed you some stupid tract about how much Jesus loves you? Nope. So you need to shut up when you start saying that I’m pushing it on you by saying on my myspace page that I love Jesus.
I don’t come on your page and tell you that your facial scarification or tattoos are disgusting and nobody should do it, and I’m not telling you that you can never get in to Heaven with that giant ring in your nose. Or, hey, I’ll never tell you that the reason you keep getting raped by guys you know is that you keep putting yourself in those situations and wearing those whore clothes. Never gonna do that either.
And all this crap about “where was God when blah blah blah? Why can’t you answer all of my stupid repetitive questions? Why can’t you take all my pain away? you’re the christian!”
I’m not all knowing, and I can’t make your choices for you.
I’m sorry. I appologize. I know we’ve been friends for years, but I can’t move your mountains, dear friend.
The things that you’ve seen that were so horrific in your life, yeah, they’re terrible. I feel love for you and I WANT to take those visions and nightmares away. But I can’t take away something that you keep so close to your tongue.
Please know that I love you. Not in an “i want to have your babies” love, but in a love that a friend feels for a friend. We go way back. You know some junk about me that not many people do. So you should know why I wouldn’t want to do that junk anymore. You know first hand how unhappy I was for all those years. And now you get all pissed off when you see me smile. You used to beg me to smile just once.
I gave you the answer in it’s long form. Your heart can’t be changed in a simple “Jesus loves you.” This is bigger than 3 little words. This is a spiritual battle that you’re still trying to fight with your physical weapons.
Please don’t think that I’m not being ‘sensitive to your needs.’ You’ll just step allover me with insults about my ‘cult’ or some crap like that. You don’t need someone holding your hand anymore. You need someone to beat you up a little. Step on your toes a bit.
If you didn’t really care about this stuff you wouldn’t keep asking me for the answers.
And since I care enough about this stuff I sit there and listen to it.
I don’t know what you really want from me. I can’t make your choices for you. But I wish I could.