The Church of Optical Illusions


Monday, January 23, 2006

So yesterday, Sunday, I went to get gas between services at church.  I was pumping gas and this lady came up and gave me a pamphlet about optical illusions.  I was all… this woman is nuts, and took the pamphlet.
When I got back to the church I showed someone the pamphlet and she said it was about Jesus.  I thought that was quite funny.
This woman had just attempted to witness to me, and did a terrible job of it.  It made me laugh, a lot.  And everyone else that was there.

At Twentyfour7 we are talking about evangelism, and how to witness to people, and mostly, what not to do.  This lady did 5 of 7 things I tell people not to do.
She never once mentioned Jesus, she never introduced herself, she was rushed and gave me no time for any type of response, there was no contact information on the pamphlet.  What if I had decided after looking at these optical illusions that I needed to get my life right and ask Jesus into my heart?  I had no way of contacting her to find out how I was supposed to go about this ‘intimate relationship with an everlasting, loving God.’
Oh, and lastly, she didn’t explain what was in the pamphlet, or ask if I had any questions about it.  I guess that 6 of the 7.
The 7th is to get their contact info.  Just so you know.

It seems that now that I have my heart right with God, and I’m fully believing that when I die I’ll get to spend eternity with Jesus, that people are trying to get me saved.
Maybe now that I’m not so pissed off at the world I am more approachable.  I don’t know.  I just wish that someone like the guys that urged me to get into a church would have approached me years ago.  I wouldn’t have had to go through some of the times that I went through.
But then again, that is my testimony.  If I hadn’t been a little drugged up slut I wouldn’t be able to relate to those who are bound by those things.

So that’s it.  Oh yeah, btw, the Mormans never called back…

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