icouldbehorriblebutichoosenottobe


Yeah.

I’m glad that I have my support group at Celebrate Recovery.  It would be really easy to retreat inside myself right now, but this time I am going to get it out before that happens.

Friday night made me even more happy about those people.  I was at guitar center and as I was pulling out of the parking lot, “he” was pulling in.  That wasn’t really what I wanted to see at that point, so I decided to go to a CR meeting instead of be at home alone all night.  I got to meet two really awesome people and a few of us went out for “coffee” afterwards, even though there was no coffee involved.  It was nice.

So today…  I finally dug into the chapter that I have been dreading in my CR book.  SPONSOR.  The last person that I thought about asking to be my sponsor when I hit this chapter last year decided to be a jerk instead.  This is one of the hardest parts of this process.  Who do I want to trust with my deepest, darkest secrets?  Granted, I could just keep my first sponsor, but we sort of lost contact a few months ago.  She’s in Iowa and I’m in North Carolina, so it made it hard.  But I guess it’s all my fault that I haven’t found a new one since then.  It’s been well over a year since I moved here.

Anywho…

I have to wait for service to end so I can go high-jack the amp in the music room for a couple hours of practice.

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