I’m not very good with being honest. Especially when it means you’ll know something that hurts me.
But right now I am so over hurting. It’s been long enough. And since I have nobody to talk to about this I’ll just post it here.
So… My heart feels like it’s made of concrete. I tried telling someone I thought I could trust, but they thought it was something way off and just the fact that they would ever even think I would do what they thought I did made the door to my heart slam shut. I ended up making up something dumb rather than tell them the truth.
So then I tried talking to someone else but ended up listening instead. Aparently I’m not the only one with hurts.
But then… It got worse. And I haven’t told anyone.
So now it has been over a year, and I’m not getting better, I’m getting worse, actually.
I can’t sleep.
I can’t stand the taste of coffee lately.
I have spent so much time alone these past few months that I am becoming my own worse enemy. I know all of my secrets. And that’s dangerous because I may end up telling on myself. Much like I am doing right now.
But the really interesting part is… I haven’t said a thing.