Ok, so in my quest to get my ‘junk’ together, I have been doing some “maintenance.” And part of that is to figure out what the ‘junk’ I am supposed to be doing.
This year has been… less than amazing. To me, anyway. I’ve lost so much of what I thought was important that it has left me completely dumb-founded as to what I should be doing.
It has been pretty hard-core.
So I’m finally getting back to a place where I can stop struggling back up the same mountain I was once so gracefully ascending; and please take my word on this, the fall down sucked. So here I go…
I have managed to write a lot in the past few months, not in here of course… I didn’t want to be committed or something like that… so I am going to share some of the stuff with you. Because you want to read those things.
July 17, 2009
Does He still find beauty in this creation?
What is beauty?
We are formed in God’s image, and He called us “good.”
A tree is designed to grow, and produce fruit; when it stops doing this, it dies.
So what about us? We were designed to grow and produce much fruit. And when we don’t, we die?
There is much to be said by the world of why we were created to do, but God made it easy and flat out told us why we were created… To know Him and make Him known. So why aren’t we?
If a tree that has stopped producing fruit it is cut off and thrown into the fire, why aren’t we? Why do we cause ourselves so much pain and agony only to suffer some more?
Why does our soverign God allow us to suffer? He knows what our limits are and will not allow us to be tempted beyond them.
If I am His precious one, I want to be treated like a precious one. I want nothing harmful to come my way. I want to see the fiery darts zoom clear past me.
I want to know those limits. Not so much to know how far I can push it, but to know how much longer I have to suffer before He steps in. When will the storm pass? How much further through this desert?
Does that sound selfish? Shouldn’t I just suck it up and continuouly praise God no matter what?
Easier said than done.
June 8, 2009
Finding Beauty In The Madness.
A song that a *once* good friend of mine wrote to commemorate the loss of an awesome friend of ours. The lyrics were about how this man had found beauty in the madness of life. In everything that was going on, he still took the time to find beauty in everyday things. We were all too busy destroying our lives with drugs, alcohol, sex… you name it, we were doing it.
This song… it was written by a man that didn’t see the beauty of life until one life was taken away. I’ve been singing that song for years now.
While on the prayer trip to Costa Rica this summer, it came back to me. Why is it that we have to go to a different country to find beauty when it is all around us? The people of Costa Rica are so used to the scenery that it doesn’t have the same effect on them that it does us tourists.
But while we’re in our own country, do we overlook the beauty that is right here? The majestic mountains right here in North Carolina, or the awesome roar of the ocean’s tide coming in just a two hours’ drive away? What about all of the trees? Have you noticed that no two trees standing there in a row look the same? Sure, they all have branches, leaves… But they’re different.
If you were to line everyone up everyone from coast to coast, all accross the earth, you wouldn’t find two people exactly the same. That is beautiful if you really think about it. Our creator wanted to know us all individually, so he individually created us. He formed each of us in our mother’s womb. He sent His Son to die for us so that we may be washed free of our sin and guilt.
The beauty of His majesty goes beyond just being washed clean. It isn’t a spot cleaner. It is something that washes us cleaner than snow.
It seems to be a reoccuring theme for me this year.
On Sunday we were praying in a park and God showed me the beauty in the madness. Even though the people there were smiling and having a good time with their friends and families, I could see the madness floating through their lives.
We all deal with things in our lives, we have crazy days, horrible weeks, but we have the Lord to help us get through it. We Sometimes go through things and feel completely alone. We struggle and feel hopeless. We feel Lost.
But when you have a relationship with Christ, you get a way out.
He shows you the beauty in the madness. He shows you the beauty in the blood.
It doesn’t just take the sin out, it washes you completely clean. Anything you have ever done is washed clean.
It doesn’t matter what I’ve been dealing with when I am in a mission trip. What matters is that I have the opportunity to sow a seed for someone to experience Christ. There are people that don’t even know that they can have a loving relationship with Christ and I’m worried about something stupid.
It seems really selfish to me.
The beauty of this trip is that I didn’t get to see first hand the fruit. I’m so used to going out and talking to people about Christ that I forget about all that was sown to make that possible.
It has shown me that this life isn’t all about me; that I play such a small part in the whole scheme of things.
What really matters is that the lives of many Costa Ricans will be changed, and the lives of the people on the following trips will never be the same.
How can I be so selfish to be worried about such small things?
As the song Burn Out Brighter says: I want to live inspired, I want to die for something higher than myself. The more I live I see that this life’s not about me.
Light shine on me, so that these blinded eyes might see.
Grace like rain, descend and make all these tainted ways come clean.
Let my eyes see you, forever stay fixated.
Let my eyes see you, and stay until redemption is found.
I know I’ve been redeemed.
For all my pain and my mistakes, Jesus has paid the price.
For all my sins, I’m born again, Jesus has paid for them.
And on this rock I’ll make my stand.
This song seems to end up being my theme song. If you’ve never heard it, you should. It really explains a lot about me. I think it’s because it just repeats the same thing over and over, but it ends with a reminder of how beautiful our redemption is.
I’m done now.