I don’t know if I really want to start blogging again, but I can say that I miss who I was when I did blog regularly. For about a year after I stopped posting public posts, I kept a journal. It was raw, but I still found that I was holding back. There is something about telling all of your secrets to the whole world that helps you live your life right.
Let’s just get real for a minute.
If you read my previous post you’ll know that a lot of things have changed. I didn’t go in to a lot of detail about things, because it doesn’t matter. What matters is that I am actively working on getting my life right. I’m way too incredible to be putting myself in circumstances where my incredible-ness is not acknowledged. I tried doing things my way and it didn’t work. So now I’m done. If you’ve ever broken a bone and had a cast on, that’s a lot what life was like. I could still move my arm, but not being able to bend my elbow made it hard to do stuff. And now that the cast has been removed, the muscle memory is still there, but I have to retrain my whole entire arm. And it stunk.
So here we go. I’ve joined a new church, but was only able to go 1x in December. I had to work one week, was in Iowa the next and the other 2 were cancelled because of Christmas and New Years. I’ve started tithing again and let me tell you how much of a relief it is! God loves a cheerful giver, and being forced to tithe makes you not want to do it at all. It felt like I had to pay this bill every paycheck and I didn’t want to pay it, but I had to pay it. Not now! I know that if you’re faithful with little you’ll be given much. That’s obvious when you look at my life. Things stop flowing when you stop tithing. The window that had blessing flowing out gets closed. It sucks. Things are going smoothly now. There is money left at the end of the month. I’m paying bills and still have money for things like food… seriously. It’s great. I really want to join a team just so I can meet some people. I was going to another church for a few months and I literally met 2 people. And by met, I mean they introduced themselves to me and that’s it. I tried joining a team, but it took 6 weeks for someone to reply back and by then I was going to the church I am currently going to. I don’t really want to get too involved, but I know it will help me get my life right.
Here is what I need from you.
Hold me accountable. I’m going to hate it, but I need you. Hold my hand and make me feel better. I am incredibly blessed by those who are in my life and have stuck around. It’s shocking when you think someone will be there for you forever, you know, because they said they would be, then they disappear. I went searching for a friend on Facebook because I hadn’t seen them post anything in a long time. They unfriended me. It’s like a bunch of my very closest friends got together and decided they would all unfriend me. I know, it’s just Facebook, but there were so many. I almost want to put a list of their names. Ya’all said you’d be there for me, but you left me and it hurts. What’s more, is seeing them in person. Oh, hey, remember when you unfriended me? No, I don’t want a hug.
Hey, how have you been? I haven’t heard much from you since you unfriended me on Facebook. I hope you’re doing well.
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Corinthians 5:17
Over and over and over… There isn’t a limit.
So basically, I’m starting over. Not only because it’s a new year, but because I’m done. We were not created to do life alone. All of the years I spent out in the wilderness taught me a lot, but mostly, that it’s hard to live when your arm has been cut off. I don’t want to do it again. It sucked. So here’s the ending to my 2017 blog post number 2… I love you. Thank you for sticking it out with me. You’re great.