So… things are mostly OK. I grownup to the max and live my life. I don’t get in trouble and I pay my bills. I like it when the heat is working and the water pump hasn’t frozen during a winter storm, but those things happen. I am blessed beyond all measure. I have more than I need.
So what can I really be complaining about?
I guess I’m bored? I don’t really have any friends here. I have co-workers that I spend 13 hours a day with, but that’s pretty much it. I mostly feel like I am only in North Carolina for my job. The reasons I wanted to come back again quickly dissipated after returning. I have gained more job experience and life experience than I could have ever imagined for myself.
Seriously, a little small town Iowa girl traveling the world, I planned loads for aircraft knowing that each day hundreds of lives were affected. I didn’t take this lightly. Now, I help save lives. Literally. People call 911 for some pretty crazy things, but then you get the call of a baby choking. Shout at me all you want, but is the baby breathing? She is? Then keep on yelling at me. Call me whatever names you want to … because your baby is breathing now thanks to the instructions I gave you.
So why do I feel like there is so much more that I am missing out on? Have I become complacent? Complacency is where hope goes to die. I just made that up. I think.
On a scale of 1 to even, I probably can.
I can’t wait until years pass and I look back at this moment… hopefully I’ll be blindsided by incredible. Change is coming. You know when change is coming because things get uncomfortable. Breakthrough style change. I can’t wait.
So for now, I’ll just keep on. Press through the uuugggg and get to the aaaaahhhhhh!
I hope you’re still around for it.